Well…at 11.42pm at least.

My GAHD! Where does the time go? I looked at the calendar yesterday and it’s December?? During the last 3 months we have been officially travelling at Warp 8, fcuk Impulse! (No disrespect J-L.P.).

I think the 3 month mark is the magic moment for us. I finally have a firmer grip on life with Isaac. It’s all been a bit of an ordeal so far, but the past 5 days or so have seen the return of Sarah as she was known, pre-Isaac. She isn’t mentally 100% as she seems to have lost some brain power, and now seems to be referring to herself in the 3rd person. Hmm.

So anyway, back to Little Man. Breastfeeding/milk is now definitely established & there’s less frustrated screaming because it doesn’t let down quick enough. Although he did feed every 2 hours today – 3 month growth spurt methinks? Would also explain the feeding every 2 hours on the dot. Bless him. Still haven’t got into expressing. Might wait until this growth spurt is over & then give it a go as it shouldn’t upset supply & demand then.

I put him in his door bouncer for the first time proper the other day. His feet now reach the floor. He doesn’t bounce as such, but spins it round while he surveys his kingdom (and has stare downs with the dog).

Surveys Kingdom

Doggy Stare Down

We’ve been to Cine Babies at the Quad for the past 2 months. Only 9 more of those It’s such a good idea, mainly because it doesn’t matter if your baby screams because there will be other babies screaming too & everyone expects it! Hurrah! Next month: Me & Orson Welles.

I’ve taken him swimming twice. That one is tricky because the swimming class I went to is at 11.15am which is when he usually wants to be asleep. I’ve found another one which is MUCH closer (within walking distance rather than 20 minute drive) in the hospital hydrotherapy pool. Have emailed the woman so will see what comes of that. Took him into the teaching pool with Simon & the girls today. I don’t think he was that impressed with the actual in-the-water bit, but there was minimal crying & only a bit of whimpering, until back in the changing room when I unwrapped his towel & took off his baby snug. Even then it was OK because he went straight into another dry towel followed closely by clothses. I think he was tired. Which leads nicely into my next topic.

Sleep.

The Little Man won’t sleep until he’s the-most-tired-ever.com. During the day that is. At night he sleeps from about 6.30pm-7pm for between 5 & 7 hours, wakes for a feed/nappy change & then goes back to sleep for between 2& 3 hours. This was great when his last wake up was 6am, but it’s been 4.30am of late. This does not go down well in the Turner house, for Ma or Pa. It’s difficult to keep him up until 7/7.30pm though because he’s so tired and grumpy. I think it’s time to re-evaluate his nap schedule. He still naps best in’t sling. He does sleep in his pram basket for about an hour, but only after 10 minutes of grizzling. Balls to HV. I’m sticking to my guns about baby wearing. He also doesn’t settle properlyuntil he’s had some comfort sucking on me. I’ve tried to slip my nipple out of his mouth & replace it with a soother to no avail. The boy ain’t stupid. He knows what he wants & that’s real live boob. People say it’ll develop bad habits, but I dunno. He’s a little tiny baby who wants his Mamma, who am I to deny him that?

We’re looking to get a new carrier in the New Year as the Hug-a-Bub is great while he’s still relatively small, but as he grows it’s going to become  impractical. The H-a-B is supposed to be worn with the loose bits tied around ones hips. Having a waist smaller than my hips makes this difficult because it rides up & then loosens the rest of the sling meaning he’s all flopping everywhere & his head falls back at some weird ass angle. So. We’re going to get an Ergo carrier. I’ve spent hours, literally hours, pouring over different types of soft carrier wondering which would be best.  Should we get a mei tai type (which I very nearly did) or a clip fastening type? I saw a lady the first time we went to Cine Babies with a backpack style carrier & when we went again I asked her what it was. I had a look at it & it seems great! If you can be bothered there’s LOADS of information on their website all about baby wearing, its benefits, why it won’t wreck your back (HVs new tactic to discourage). It has a sleep hood which is very important for us as Isaac loves to sleep in the sling. It can be worn front, back & hip. Sold. Galaxy grey to the lady with the tattoos.

Something that reassures me in my baby wearing ways is the reading I’ve done about how humans are parent clingers, i.e.: not meant to be left in nests like birds/mice etc – makes sense as we’re descended from apes (sorry Mrs Palin) whose young are carried constantly during the early part of their lives. Research shows that baby wearing doesn’t make clingy, spoiled children; it reassures them and creates emotionally balanced and secure individuals. So, we’re meant to be carried around all of the time until we want to walk on our own? Yes! Sucks for people who don’t really like their kids!

Little Man smiles lots of the time now. He’s such a charmer I think I even heard a silvery peal of laughter the other day! His hair is getting thicker and his legs longer. However, longer legs = unable to tuck up in the sling anymore so feeties get cold! OH NO! Fear not! I’ve just found these brilliant things. Extra long merino wool booties From the rather awesomely named site, Fanny Fanackapants! Back on track. He likes singing & being jiggled about on his changing mat so I think we’re going to start going to rhyme time and maybe even TinyTalk in the new year. We just weren’t ready before. I’ve even discovered how to tie my scarf so that he’s not suffocated by it while in-sling.

Spot The Baby

So now it’s time for me to go to bed, at the rock n roll hour of 10pm – here’s hoping tomorrow doesn’t start at 4.30am!

]]> http://pieproductions.wordpress.com/2009/12/06/3-months-today/feed/ 0 Sarah IMG_0376 IMG_0373 DSC00629 DSC00626 3mths http://pieproductions.wordpress.com/2009/11/11/2-months-on/ http://pieproductions.wordpress.com/2009/11/11/2-months-on/#comments Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:06:09 +0000 pieproductions http://pieproductions.wordpress.com/?p=500 ]]>

Now that he is just over 2 months I feel things are settling down into some semblance of a routine, on more days than not. Nights aren’t always as unpredictable and horrific as they used to be, we manage between 4 and 5 consecutive hours sleep at best and he slept for 7 straight hours the other night! Incredible! During the day he naps in the sling and at night he sleeps in his pram in our room on the floor (the basket bit detaches from the chassis – this will help transition to crib no doubt). We think the sense of space in the crib was a little too much for him and the size of our room was overwhelming. The pram has a hood that comes up so he feels more enclosed. With hindsight I think a Moses basket would have been more appropriate for this particular Little Man, but we weren’t to know. HV wasn’t convinced that the sling was appropriate after 4 weeks, but I think the sense of closeness it promotes is invaluable while developing our bond and means that he really does sleep during the day rather than snatching 20 minutes sleep between draining feeding sessions. I forgot the sling when I went to Mum’s on Monday which was a complete nightmare until we improvised on out of 2 pashminas!

Improv sling-prov

I have since been into town and bought 4 pashminas from the lady in Westfield with a view to making an additional sling. Now…when will I have the time to do that?!

Also whilst at Mum’s I looked through some baby pictures of me. My GAHD! He rather looks like I did!

Isaac 8 weeks

Sarah 5 months

Breastfeeding is now going well; milk seems to be established. I’ve given up trying to express apart from at weekends when Simon can sling him. Seems that whatever I express only gets given to him a few days later. I’ll get back on the case again, just not yet. It seems whenever I’m getting low about something Isaac related, I pick up a copy of Juno and find an article that reassures me and makes me feel a million times better. The latest edition has a brilliant article about breastfeeding. The author practises energy work and incorporates this into her breastfeeding strategy. I love the approach and it made me realise that I’d been quite selfish while feeding my boy. Since I’ve stopped watching things on the TV while feeding him I’ve noticed that he feeds better and is much happier. This might seem obvious to many, but I think I was being a little short sighted about the whole affair. Breastfeeding isn’t just about filling a tummy, it’s about building a relationship with your child and how can you do that it you aren’t even paying attention? *Slaps forehead* It’s easy to forget that he’s only an ickle bebe and get worked up that there’s so much you need to get done, but just can’t. I’m getting used to the levels of dust with which we co-habit. I get so frustrated sometimes, especially at night when I’m tired and crying for sleep, or when we’ve planned something that we can’t participate in fully because he’s tired or hungry. I think having a mantra to repeat to myself helps enormously. It removes me from what’s right in front of me, just long enough to get fresh perspective so that I can carry on with the same love that he deserves all the time. Kudos to Dad for suggesting the idea.

Having read about Ayurvedic eating for myself (being a Kapha sucks), I decided to see what I thought Isaac was. From what I can tell about him so far he seems to be Vata. Boo! I found this out about Vata babies from here:

“Babies and children with a predominance of Vata find it hard to gain weight.  Their sleep is easily disturbed and they have a tendency towards wind and colic.  They dislike the cold or being exposed to windy conditions. On the whole they have low, delicate appetites and love sweet, warm food. By nature they are daydreamers and enjoy watching trees blowing in the wind or clouds moving across the sky.”

To a tee. He’s underneath the bottom line on the weight gaining chart in my red book which I think the HVs are going to get excited about tomorrow when I get him weighed, BUT he has wet & dirty nappies and doesn’t look emaciated at all. He feeds OK, seems fine to me. Isn’t too windy any more as I wind him meticulously when he needs it (thanks to Dunstan Baby Language for word/cry understanding!) He does love to watch things and has a good nose whenever possible. I took him into town in the sling the other day and it was the first time he’d really experienced a bitter cold wind. He really didn’t like it and kept burying his face into my chest. I think there’s definitely something in it and will bear it in mind when weaning. Talking of which, we’re booked onto an NCT weaning course in January.

I still haven’t managed to go out. It isn’t really possible while I’m not expressing  and I frankly don’t have the energy or the inclination. I had half a cider (all I was allowed by the landlady!), a glass of pink fizzy stuff & half a can of Carlsberg (spread out over about 7 hours) on Halloween and I felt bloody awful!  Is this a new non-alcoholic Sarah? The odd glass of wine every now and then seems to be OK, but I can’t even think about drinking lots.

Auntie Kate

Auntie Anna

Isaac has now met 2 out of 3 not-Godparents. Auntie Kate & Auntie Anna have both been to visit We need a better name than not-Godparents. Any suggestions? The official title as used by registrars is Special Adults. Special Adults? Hmm. Not for us!

The days are literally flying by and I’m sure he’ll be 6 months before I even know it. I’m trying to enjoy him being so little because it won’t last forever, it’s trying at times because I know it’ll be easier when he does sleep for longer and my head doesn’t feel like it’s full of cotton wool. Then I’ll be wishing he was small and cuddly again!

“Everything is at a hazy distance. I know someone’s talking to me, but I can’t quite focus on the content of their word stream and I find my eyes glazing over while I dream of my bed.”

I used to feel like that the day after a after a night out while my still alcohol soaked brain attempted to recover. It isn’t how I feel every day, but it was how I felt yesterday after, possibly, 2 hours sleep? Even then it was snatched from between 20 minute & 1/2 hour slots allowed by Little Man. Isaac has now reached the point in his young life where he doesn’t automatically fall asleep when he gets tired. No no no, that would be too simple. He now gets overtired (Dianne I thought of you when I said that!). Lucky Mummy & Daddy! Especially Mummy as she’s the one with boob juice. Seeing as how he doesn’t sleep properly in the day unless he’s in the sling, catching up with aforementioned lost sleep doesn’t really happen. I think we’re quite lucky though, that if he sleeps OK during the day then he settles after changing/feeding at night. For instance, last night we got 2 3 hour stretches and the last one might have even been closer to 4 hours!

I’ve been having a few issues with our breast feeding experience. It seems that he always wants to be on the boob (typical man LOL) and I worry that he isn’t getting enough and that he’s starving, especially as he hadn’t put any weight on when weighed by a health visitor week before last. It doesn’t help that we’ve had thrush either (me – nipples, him – oral). We initially thought it was bad attachment causing my nips to rub against the top of his mouth, but it’s all cleared up now – for me at least. I think he still has it in his mouth, but it doesn’t interfere with feeds and I don’t seem to have got it back again so I’m hoping it’ll go on its own.

Anyhoo, I digress (massively).

Breastfeeding is an unknown quantity for me. I can’t see how much goes into him when he feeds and pumping isn’t an accurate reflection of how much he gets as he’s much more efficient at getting the milk out of me than a machine. It’s extremely worrying when all he seems to do is cry when he isn’t feeding or asleep. It’s tied in with the not liking to be left alone thing. Everything muddles together and is very difficult to articulate intelligently, so forgive my jumbled description. I’m getting more confident with how to breastfeed, but I guess it’s something that comes with time, experience and talking to those others with experience. I go to a breastfeeding group on Friday mornings at my local children’s centre. It’s very good and everyone is nice. Plus there are toys for when he’s old enough to start appreciating them.

Isaac Andrew Wiggler has different cries for different things (as all babies do) and I’m getting better at distinguishing between them. Hungry is VERY loud and repetitive, which figures because it’s a life threatening thing if he doesn’t get to eat so he needs to make sure I can hear him! Wet/dirty nappy is more of a pissed off cry, figures. There’s nothing worse than sitting in your own wee and poo! Tired is interesting. It’s more wavering and half-arsed. Overtired is a combination of all of the above, making it the most difficult to decipher. We run through everything  (Clean nappy? Check. Fed? Check. Cuddles? Check) before realising that he’s been awake for ages and needs to sleep. D’oh!

I remembered reading an article in the Spring 2009 edition of Juno magazine entitled “Crying: an explanation of why babies cry” by Teresa Pitman. I re-read it earlier this evening and it brought tears to my eyes, particularly the final paragraph which reads as follows:

“As a La Leche League leader, I often get calls from mothers who are worried that either they don’t have enough milk or there is something wrong with their milk, because their babies cry “too much”. When I ask them to describe what their baby is doing, here’s what I get: “Well, I breastfeed for twenty minutes, then I put him down in the crib, and he cries,. I pick him up: he stops crying. If I carry him around, he’s not too bad, but every time I put him down, he cries. And sometimes in the evening all he’ll do is breastfeed and cry. I don’t know if he’s just starving or it’s something I’m eating.

Of course I do explore those possible concerns with the mother, but most often it turns out that her baby is just being a baby, adjusting to beng out in the world and doing what his instincts tell him will keep him safe, ensure a good milk supply and keep him close to the parents he loves.“

I feel almightily relieved, reassured and other brilliant words beginning with R that reiterate (!) how great it made me feel! Earlier in the article, the notion of spoiling a baby was discussed and the general consensus (based on years of research of Western and tribal cultures) was that in Western culture, we don’t trust our instincts (this is what I took from it anyway). In tribal cultures, if a baby cries he’s picked up and soothed. He’s carried around in a sling in an upright position so that he’s close to his mother and always protected. He’s always offered the breast when he cries. These are all things that I think are important. However, my health visitor tells me that using the sling past 4 weeks is a bad thing. I think differently. The Hug-a-bub website reads as follows:

“Social conditioning has led parents to believe that if a baby is held or carried too frequently they will be spoilt, clingy or demanding. Modern research reveals quite the opposite. The physical and psychological benefits associated with baby wearing encourage children to feel secure and content and build a solid sense of self-esteem.

Babywearing not only promotes an intimate connection between parent and baby, it is hailed as one of the most important factors in the healthy physical, intellectual and social development of infants. It promotes good digestion which is believed to greatly eases the distressing symptoms of colic and reflux.“

Now, I know that they want sales, but it’s not the only place that I’ve read such positive things about baby wearing. For muchos información go to The BabyWearer.com, naturalmothering.co.uk, or check out some more bullet points on the Hug-a-bub website. So, ner to you HV.

Something else my HV said was that face spots was completely normal in babies. I remembered that Isaac didn’t have any until, through exhaustion and lack of will to cook, I caved in and ate a pizza. The next day he came out in a rash of angry red pimples on his cheeks. I don’t eat a lot of dairy as a rule so I decided to cut it out completely. I also (at the recommendation of an NCT friend) put some breast milk on the spots. Within a few hours they had calmed down dramatically and have only come back (on a smaller scale) when I’ve given in and had something with dairy in it. So. A decision has been made by me to go vegan. I’d considered veganism before he was born and have been gravitating that way for a while now, but it’s through sheer laziness on my part that I haven’t made the switch sooner. We have so many vegan cook books and our evening meals are usually vegan anyway; now I’m convinced that it’s the logical way forward.

We have our 6 week postnatal check next week and an appointment has been booked for his immunisations, despite HV saying she’d get a message put in Isaac’s medical notes to say we didn’t want them. Typical.

Anyhoo, Little Man was weighed again this week and has put on some weight. Not much, but some. As goes the mantra – all babies are different. So I try not to worry, feed him when he cries and love him all the time.

After the initial telephone call of doom on Friday afternoon, the visit went well and I actually really like my Health Visitor! She gave me some really useful breastfeeding tips and advice. Looks like I’ll be going along to her breastfeeding group across the road on Friday mornings. Turns out the Well Baby clinic is only over the road too so that makes things easy She put things in perspective, in that at the moment all Little Man knows is sucking, crying, sleeping, weeing & pooing. He’s doing well on all those fronts so I guess I must be doing something right. Apart from maybe the sleeping thing, but not all babies sleep as much as each other do they? He does OK at night; obviously we don’t get as much sleep as we’d like, but I seem to have night feeds down so that helps.

She also talked to me about the birth. She was surprised that, as I’d had spontaneous membrane rupture & planned a home birth, that I’d ended up having a caesarean. I explained that the midwives who came at 4am asked me to go into hospital for a CTG & I’d ended up staying & she was of the opinion that, as I’d been taken out of my own surroundings into a strange unfamiliar environment, that my body had shut down & decided not to give birth then. Sounds about right to me! I’d thought this already, but didn’t want to really believe it. I can’t help wondering what would’ve happened if I’d gone home. There’s absolutely no point doing this though as it’s now in the past, Le Wiggler est ici & he’s healthy etc. Anyhoo…food for thought.

The trolley of no-bags-to-carry-wheelie-greatness

How are things going? They’re going well. We’ve had a few nightmare days when I wanted to curl up & die, but who doesn’t, right? The dummy/soother has died a death after only really being wanted by Isaac for about 1/2 a day. So now he sucks my finger instead. Although, last night I put a few drops of lavender oil on the muslin that goes under his head in his crib and he didn’t need any kind of other soothing for the whole night! (for the times that he wasn’t feeding etc). Lavender is good stuff I’ve decided – the knock out stuff of infants. We’ll see how it goes tonight.

The sling continues to be daytime salvation. Isaac doesn’t sleep during the day unless he’s in the sling. I tried to have a nap the other day, which was hideous. I nearly got to sleep a few times in the course of an hour, but Isaac didn’t sleep at all & I eventually gave up & felt like rhubarb for the rest of the day. Dad bought me a granny trolley to use in town when I’m wearing the sling & don’t have the luxury of being able to carry lots of bags plus baby. It’s amazing – thank you me Da!

I shall be glad when Simon has finished with enrolment at uni & he’s home at a decent time in the evenings. I don’t know what I would’ve done without Dad being here. He’s been great – made me lunch every day & offered words of encouragement and understanding.  He’s ace and will be missed when he goes home on Friday…alone at last Bring on the visitors!

Super Pa!

That is all I have to say for now, other than this…

(not Isaac!)

]]> http://pieproductions.wordpress.com/2009/09/30/odds-and-sods/feed/ 2 Sarah DSC00526 DSC00527 breastfeeding rocks 3 wks http://pieproductions.wordpress.com/2009/09/22/and-she-slings/ http://pieproductions.wordpress.com/2009/09/22/and-she-slings/#comments Tue, 22 Sep 2009 19:32:19 +0000 pieproductions http://pieproductions.wordpress.com/?p=456 ]]>

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! The sling is operational!

I COOKED FOOD AND HE SLEPT THE WHOLE TIME!!

He slept for the longest period out of today AND yesterday; in fact, he’s still asleep now. Isaac loves the sling!

I’m so very relieved. I was beginning to think there was no hope, but all seems well with the womb etc so I’m slinging it up from now on. Viva la Hug-a-bub

Went to get him weighed again today & he’s not back up to birth weight by 20 grams. A measly 20g I tell you. The midwife (crazy lady from Zimbabwe that I saw prenatally) says this is fine because breastfed babies gain weight more slowly than formula fed ones. So, all is well with family Turner. Now we listen to his birth chart reading

Booby baby & hemp burger at Eco Fest

So here we are at the end of Isaac’s second week out of the womb and it still hasn’t really sunk in that I’m someone’s mother. Even typing it and reading it back sounds utterly ridiculous. I’m responsible for the well-being and development of a small person. Who let this happen?!

We’ve been out and about quite a bit considering the caesarean. We’ve been into town a few times and today went to Eco-Fest at Markeaton Park which was great. It was lovely to be out in the sunshine and surrounded by loads of other people. It’s a bit surreal though; feels as though they’re at a distance, not included in our little family bubble and therefore not relevant. I’m sure as I get more used to our new life that it will become less weird. I hope so anyway!

How’s he doing then? He’s doing fabulously and now has eyelashes! My staples came out on day 6 and the community midwife was pleased with how my scar was healing. She weighed Isaac, who had only lost 5% of his birth weight, which apparently is good.

At barely 8 days old he got conjunctivitis in his right eye. It was soon sorted after a visit to the doctor and some drops. It cleared up after about 2 days and shows no sign of returning.

We all went to the postnatal clinic for our 10 day check rather than waiting at home for the community midwife again as she didn’t arrive until 7pm for our day 5 appointment! Poor woman should’ve finished at 4pm, but had several emergency appointments and decided to keep going rather than rearrange appointments. Anyhoo, we weren’t discharged from midwife care because his cord hadn’t then dropped off and, with 4oz to go, he wasn’t back up to birth weight. The midwife was pleased with my scar and again commented on how good it looked (?) considering it was only 10 days after the operation. One forgets that a caesarean is actually major surgery.

Isaac’s cord came away on day 11 and he now has a nice little pink belly button which is healing well. It’s very cute We’ve got another appointment at the postnatal clinic on Tuesday so we’ll see if he’s back up to birth weight by then. I can’t imagine that he won’t be judging by the amount he eats!! I’m really noticing the need to drink massive quantities of water; if I don’t I get awful dehydration headaches.

Mother's milk!

Breastfeeding is going well. It doesn’t hurt per se, but sometimes feels a little uncomfortable. He sometimes feeds for hours at a time, but I realise now that it’s not all feeding, but comfort sucking. With this in mind we did the dreaded and tried him with a dummy. We really, really didn’t want to, but he’s so much happier with it. I don’t like how it squashes against his nose, but maybe that’s just how he was lying in the car seat? Plus there’s a limit as to how much of the day I can sit with my boobs out!! If he’s hungry he spits it out and cries, so I feed him. If he isn’t hungry, he’s happy to suck on the little plastic and rubber marvel. I expressed some milk for the first time yesterday. 2oz in about 3 minutes! Apparently that’s good. I’m not an experienced expresser, so wouldn’t know. It was very satisfying though! It’ll mean that Simon can help with feeding too. This is good because it’ll A) give me a break and B) include him more in Isaac based activities.

Simon goes back to work on Monday. Neither of us want him to go and if Isaac could talk I think he’d say the same. He’s been an enormous help with things like making sure I’m fed and watered and doing the laundry. Mum’s coming up for the day tomorrow to keep me company and then Dad’s coming  up tomorrow evening to stay for a few days to help me while I get used to Simon being at work.It’s rubbish that Dads only get 2 weeks paternity leave. Apparently the rules are changing and Dads will be allowed to take 6 months leave soon, but it has to be deducted from the Mother’s allowance. How is that fair/does that work? Hmm.

The hospital discharged me with 7 days worth of diclofenac (anti-inflammatory).  I took those and paracetamol 3 times a day for the 7 days and haven’t taken anything other than arnica since. I’m feeling much stronger now, although I’m not supposed to lift anything heavier than a baby or drive for 6 weeks, which sucks. The doctor did say to go with how I feel though and I do feel a lot better. I think I may be back on the road before the 6 weeks is up. As long as I can lift the pram in and out of the car that is! Having the caesarean has totally thrown me. I wasn’t expecting to have to sit on my arse and recover. I’d much rather be out and about doing stuff and making new mum friends. Ho hum, I guess that’s the way it’s going to have to be for a few more weeks at least. I can’t even wear my sling at the moment because it puts uncomfortable pressure on my scar. So, I really do have to sit on my arse and recover. Bring on the hands free days of sling!

For all the lack of sleep and feeding marathons, I wouldn’t change a thing; I want him to stay tiny forever, if only for moments like this when he’s asleep on my chest making little contented noises. I know it’s not possible, so I cherish each moment as it happens.

I don’t think the dog likes being further down the ranks though!

It all begins at 2.26am the morning of 6th September 2009. My first contraction (that I was aware of) woke me up then and, about an hour after that, pockets of my waters started to trickle out. We phoned the emergency triage number after an hour or so to see what to do & they sent 2 midwives out. My contractions were every 2 minutes & lasted approximately 30 seconds. The first midwife arrived at 4am & the other about 45 minutes later as she had to travel from further away.

Typically, as soon as they arrived my contractions stopped. They were both totally flummoxed that I hadn’t been induced and said they’d be much happier if I went to the hospital for a CTG (belt monitoring of baby & uterine activity) later that day as anything over term + 12 is outside of ordinary midwifery apparently – bear in mind at this point I was term + 13! We agreed to this & they left. As soon as they’d gone my contractions started again with much the same timing as before. I was pretty tired by about 6am so went back to bed & the contractions petered out until about 10am when I got up again & got ready to go to the hospital for the CTG which was scheduled for 11.30am. My contractions had started again with the same timing & strength as before & didn’t let up this time.

Getting to the hospital was an experience – contracting in the back of a car isn’t great. We got to the hospital & realised we’d left my maternity notes at home – D’OH!!! Simon nipped back to get them & I carried on eating my breakfast that we’d brought with us in the bowl (standing up outside – how oppressive is the waiting room on the labour ward??). Simon came back & we went into one of the consultant lead care rooms. I have to say that the midwife support worker that “checked us in” was bloody awful. No people skills at all. The midwife, however, was lovely & couldn’t really understand why the other midwives had wanted me to come in!! Anyhoo…1/2 hour on the monitor & everything was fine.

By now I was pretty tired & still having contractions which were getting stronger now. The midwife examined me and found that I was 3 centimetres dilated which was kinda disappointing as I’d been up so long! I thought about what Rebecca (our NCT teacher) told us about labour -  it’s like a trip to London on the M1; some days you get there in record time, other times you stop & start all the way & you can even give up, turn around & come back.

We made the decision to stay at hospital as the pool room was free. The awful midwife support worker came to take us down to midwife lead care. She opened the door and said “ready then” as I was obviously in the middle of a contraction. Did I look fecking ready?? Off we went thinking everything would progress &  the Wiggler would be with us soon. How wrong can you be? Got into the midwife lead care room & contractions stopped. I got really, really REALLY upset & wanted to go home. About 3 hours later the midwife suggested a hot bath to see if we could speed things up which I did and was in it (which is called Diana, by the way) for about an hour. When I got out I was only 4 cm!! Crushing. By now I was exhausted and really tearful. Mum had gone home to let the dog out and it was just me & Simon. We talked with the midwife & the doctor who explained that it was what they call an obstructed labour. With great sadness we decided to move back to consultant lead care & go on a drip  of synthetic hormones to get things going.

Back in consultant lead care I’m crying pretty hysterically, or as hysterically as someone who has had 4 hours sleep & been awake  for about 17 hours can cry. We had the loveliest midwife called Steph. I’m eternally grateful to her for being so nice. She put me on a belt monitor. When asked what my thoughts on pain relief were I found the words “I’m not sure I can cope with the pain if I go on the drip so I’d like an epidural” coming out of my mouth. She said it’s what they’d recommend as I was so tired. I ended up being on the monitor for a good 2 or 3 hours again when she came in asked if she could put a clip on the Wiggler’s head as she was concerned about his heart rate dropping during contractions. Again, grateful for NCT class attendance as we knew what it was for and why it was a good idea. So she did that, all the time still waiting for someone to come & put a cannula in my hand before the epidural could be administered. She suggested that I start using some entonox as the contractions were getting quite strong now. I’d like to say that it’s bloody marvellous stuff, although it does loosen your tongue and make you feel drunk

Wiggler didn’t like that at all. His heart rate dropped dramatically & Steph came rushing in, told me to get onto my side & then told Simon to pull the red cord behind the bed. The next thing I know is the room is full of people in scrubs all talking medi-speak deciding if I should be prepped for  caesarean. Wiggler’s heart rate calmed down, or rather sped up so they backed off a bit, but decided to get a blood sample from his head. Joy. Off came the bottom of the bed & out came the stirrups. Steph tells me to keep sucking on the entonox like there’s no tomorrow which I do,  thank goodness for that stuff. I still hadn’t had the epidural, or got the cannula. The light wasn’t working & I wasn’t very dilated so the doctor couldn’t get said sample It was like having the mother of all smears, or a lifetime’s worth of smears in one go.

It was then the decision was made to deliver him by emergency caesarean section. Finally the cannula went in to the side of my wrist (after some sort of conversation with the anaesthetist about the weedy veins on the back of my hand) & a blood sample taken for whatever reason. I’m still on my side breathing constant entonox. Not really sure what happened, but everybody left & I was told I’d have a spinal instead of the epidural. We waited about 10 minutes for them to take me to theatre. Steph came to get me & allowed me a few massive gulps on the entonox before we left. Once in the operating theatre it took what seemed like forever to get the spinal done & I was still contracting quite heavily. Simon says the noises I was making were awful. Sitting up for the spinal was grim, but mercifully it kicked in quickly. After that the screen went up & the top half of my body was shivering like a thing possessed! I felt OK though, tired, but OK. Simon came in in scrubs (I remember thinking he looked really good in them!) and sat next to my head. Then the pulling about started & the next thing I know I hear a cry. I thought “Oh, there’s a baby in here” and then it dawned on me that it was our baby Having waited the duration of my pregnancy for him to be born it was very strange to know that I was going to see him for the first time very soon. Steph took him to do whatever it is they do with newborn babies and then brought him over to Simon. We’d agreed about 1/2 an hour before it all kicked off that we liked Isaac as a boys name, which is good because we’d been undecided until that point.

I was stapled up and wheeled into recovery where Steph put him onto my chest for some skin to skin and to start breastfeeding. It was difficult to hold him so that he could feed properly because I had the cannula with a drip on the side of my wrist & something else on my forefinger measuring something else, plus I couldn’t sit upright because of the operation, but we managed a little. We were in there for about an hour and then 2 porters came to wheel me up to the maternity ward.

Nothing had really sunk in and everything was surreal to say the least. Mum & Simon stayed until about 2 and then the midwives asked them to say their goodbyes. I was so wired that I hardly slept all night; I was too busy looking at my beautiful little boy. Plus I was  too awash with hormones and drugs to care!

And so that is how, at 11.42pm, weighing 8lbs exactly, Isaac Andrew came into the world; the same ugly route as his mother. It’s not as I’d have liked, but he’s alive and healthy – for what more could I ask?

He sleeps next to me in his pram as I type these words. It’s taken about 3 days with 5 or 10 minutes snatched here and there between feeds and sleeps. I’m eternally grateful to the powers that be that he’s here. I’m gutted that my body seemed to fail so hideously in its performance of such a natural and instinctive task, but it all seems an awfully long time ago now as Simon and I look to the future with our son.

I’m thoroughly unimpressed and more than a little angry.

Simon & I have just been to the hospital for a consultant appointment. From what the midwife said I understood that the appointment was to arrange a monitoring plan for if I go more than 12 days over the scan due date. To a certain extent it was, but it was more a scaremongering and arrogance offensive. Her face was incredulous and disdainful the whole time that I was giving reasons why I didn’t want to be induced. When I asked her why only 4% of babies were born on their scan due date and queried the research stating that a first time mother’s gestation period is usually longer than 40 weeks she, very thoughtfully, explained to me that the baby was ready to come, but wouldn’t because it was because my body that wasn’t primed for birth as I hadn’t done it before. This is why I need to be induced, because nature has it wrong.

WHAT??

How the hell has the human race coped so far if first time mothers bodies aren’t primed for birth? How did people ever give birth before the advent of modern medicine? I CANNOT BELIEVE THE AUDACITY!!

Her use of language was appalling, in that at no point did she say I had a choice in the matter; I had to make her aware that I knew this and only then did she begrudgingly agree with me. Turns out she wasn’t even a consultant, but a registrar!! I pointed out that if I was induced I wouldn’t be able to give birth at home, which is what I want. To this she replied, “well if we induce you you’ll have to be in hospital for us to deliver you anyway”.

WHO’S DELIVERING THE BABY???

Unless it’s a c-section then I assume it’ll be me delivering, thanks very much.

How cared for and reassured I felt by this woman.

The funny thing is that if I’d agreed to have the induction date booked for 5th September and not gone, they couldn’t have done a thing about it & I wouldn’t be going through all this crap right now. I sort of wish I hadn’t agreed to the monitoring because I can feel myself getting more stressed out about it which is exactly what I wanted to avoid by having a home birth and isn’t going to help natural labour in the slightest. At least I don’t have to go back to hospital until 4th September now.

Why are medicals so ignorant and disrespectful of people’s choices?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

She also swept my membranes…that was pleasant.

On a more positive note, I dearly love the site homebirth.org.uk. It is a wonderful reminder that people give birth at home every day and that many of them are more than 42 weeks pregnant when they do so. The page about being “overdue” is inspiring and makes me feel better about this morning’s debacle.

I am officially going mental. I phoned the doctor’s surgery today to ask what LMP date I gave at the time of my first doctor’s appointment after I discovered I was pregnant. The date I gave was 22nd November, not 30th therefore, making my LMP EDD as calculated by Naegele’s Rule 30th August 2009. If the calculation is adjusted to allow for my slightly shorter menstrual cycle then my EDD is…TODAY! Which isn’t so far behind the scan date. *eats humble pie*

However! Never content to agree with science, I’ve been doing more reading about EDDs. Misha Safranski raises an interesting point in her article (“The Lie of the EDD: Why Your Due Date Isn’t When You Think“) about the inaccuracy of Naegele’s Rule. “Strictly speaking, a lunar (or synodic – from new moon to new moon) month is actually 29.53 days, which makes 10 lunar months roughly 295 days, a full 15 days longer than the 280 days gestation we’ve been lead to believe is average.” She goes on to quote recent(ish) research: “In 1990 Mittendorf et Al. undertook a study to calculate the average length of uncomplicated human pregnancy. They found that for first time mothers (nulliparas) pregnancy lasted an average of 288 days (41 weeks 1 day)…To easily calculate this EDD formula, a nullipara would take the LMP, subtract 3 months, then add 15 days.”

So, based on this calculation my EDD would be 6th September 2009. Er, hang on…this is the same date I worked out with my mental pregnant brain yesterday thinking my LMP was 30th November! As my menstrual cycles are shorter by 2 days than the standard 28 days it could be that the Wiggler is due on 4th September after all. Good grief.

The fact remains that I still don’t want to be induced.

So now…that I have my dates straight:

I know it’ll come when it’s ready and you can never really tell, but I’ve got to do something with all this free time right? Can you tell that I’m going a bit nuts at home…? BRING ON THE BABY!

I’ve been thinking about this whole EDD (expected delivery date) business. How the hell can you tell when a baby is going to be born? Quite simply, you can’t. You can use statistics gathered by people over the years to hazard a guess, but there really is no dead certain way of knowing when a baby will be born.

When I first visited the doctor, based on my LMP (last menstrual cycle), he advised me my EDD would be 30th August 2009. The midwife said the same at my booking session. Then when I went for my 12 week scan I was told my EDD was actually 24th August 2009, a whole week before the one based on my LMP dates. I don’t quite know how they got the original date other than it’s exactly 9 calendar months after the 1st day of my LMP which isn’t how it’s calculated anyway!

Franz Karl Naegele

What with it being my EDD today I’ve been doing a bit of reading about the whole EDD prediction thing and I’ve come up with the following. A chap called Franz Karl Naegele came up with Naegele’s Rule which is a calculation to use for estimating delivery dates. It assumes that the menstrual cycles of the woman in question are regular, occur every 28 days with ovulation happening on the 14th day of each cycle. In my case my menstrual cycles are always 26 days and ovulation occurs on day 13. They were natural cycles, i.e.: not “helped” by the contraceptive pill, another assumption made by Naegele’s Rule. The basic calculation is: 1st day of LMP + 280 days = EDD. So, based on the standard Naegele’s Rule calculation, my EDD would be 6th September 2009, a week after the original EDD given to me and a whopping 13 days after the dating scan EDD. Using the EDD calculator on Babycentre.co.uk which seems to use Naegele’s Rule (adjusting my cycle to 26 days), the EDD I get is 4th September 2009.

This new found information throws mixed emotions my way. Initially I am confused as to why this calculation wasn’t used in the first place?  I wasn’t even asked if my menses were regular. Actually, I’m still confused, but not in the least bit surprised. I understand that not everyone has a regular cycle and that not everyone knows when they ovulate, but I do!

I’m a bit peeved at the medical profession for relying on images of a foetus at approximately 12 weeks old to decide when its going to be born. How on earth is that accurate?? I wonder how many babies are induced before they’re ready to be born? Fair enough if the baby is showing signs of distress, but inducing for the sake of it?

I’ve said from the beginning that I think the Wiggler will be early. S/he can’t be early now by medical estimation, but might be early by the standard 9 months + 7 days Naegele’s Rule calculation.  The midwife I saw at my last appointment said that when babies are “overdue” they aren’t allowed to be more than 12 days so; what usually happens is the mother is booked in for induction on day 12 and on day 11 the baby is born. If I look at the calendar I see that 12 days over my medical EDD is 5th September and that day 11 is none other than 4th September. How funny would it be if the Wiggler was actually born on 4th September?!

I know that I do not want to be induced and I am prepared to argue to stay at home. One of my NCT ladies has a friend who went 17 days over her medical EDD and still had a home birth. This gives me hope! As long as the Wiggler is OK and not showing signs of distress, I don’t see why I should have to go to hospital because my EDD was calculated incorrectly.

I think I understand why everyone’s been telling me I look so well considering how far along I am – it’s because I’m not as far along as originally thought. At least the pool isn’t due to be returned until 8th September!